Extreme Anthropamorphizing

by Melanie Hooyenga



I'm a normal person.

Perfectly sane.

So it was a complete surprise when I looked around and realized that I'd created an email account, a blog, and now a Facebook fan page for… my dog.

It all started innocently enough. I first brought Owen home a little over a year ago, and as I was living out of the country, I filled my Facebook page with his adorable mug. Eight months later I moved back to the US and had a brilliant idea: why not start a blog for him? He'd developed quite a following and I could hide behind the old "it's a creative writing exercise" for anyone who questioned my sanity.

I logged into Blogger and quickly discovered a problem. In order for the blog to appear to be hosted by my dog, he needed his own Google account. As in email. I checked over my shoulder to make sure the neighbors weren't filming me, then quickly punched in a user name.

Well that's not too crazy.

Another six months passed. Owen had a couple dozen blog followers and countless adorers on Facebook when I picked up on a new trend: Facebook accounts for pets.

"I'm not THAT obsessed with my dog," I muttered. (Shut up, all of you.) "I realize he's not a person."

I hemmed and hawed for a day or so, then finally decided that a fan page would be the perfect solution. I already manage a couple for work and know the ins and outs fairly well, so what's one more?

Don't worry. I've already staged an intervention with myself and I'm halfway through the Dog Whisperer's first book. Maybe there's hope for Owen—I mean me—yet.

Melanie Hooyenga is a graphic designer by day and novel-editing, query-wrangling fool by night. She's currently putting the final touches on her second novel and plans to release it to the wild--er, agents--this fall.

You can read more about Melanie on her blog, Hoosblog (gesundheit) at melanieavila.wordpress.com. Owen stays in his corner (most days) at owenavila.blogspot.com.