A Brief Natural History Of Teenagers

by Bill Mullis

The creatures known as teenagers,
Refrigerator foragers,
Antagonizing fathers, mothers,
Feeding off their little brothers;

Incessantly on telephones,
Gnawing on their rivals’ bones,
Growing taller, feet by feet,
All they do is sleep and eat.

With stomping, snarling, rolling eyes,
Mutterings and heavy sighs,
They make your life as miserable
As inhumane-ly possible.

But when the darksome days are done,
When the lonesome race is run,
(Accolades, a mighty cheer!)
A human being will appear.

A real, live, breathing personhood,
Where once a beast of shadows stood!
Reflect, you may, and if you would,
Behold it all that it is good.

So with the dawn a hope at last,
Now that the grief and angst is past,
Be thou freed from this perdition!
But what to do about tuition?