by Terri Lynn Coop
Welcome to this edition of “Wild Furniture Kingdom,” featuring the “Five Best Feral Sofas of Kansas.” Join me on this photo safari featuring the wildlife that is probably lurking in your own backyard.
Facing life in the wild, our first feral sofa developed a unique protective coloring that allowed it to blend into its environment.
Our second wild sofa is a proudly displaying its plumage and staking its claim on the kingdom. Judging from its flashy stripes, it is most likely an alpha male.
Over time, wild furniture will often lose its fear of man. Our third feral sofa seems comfortable lounging in alleys and likely scrounging in the garbage.
Our fourth stop is a rare glimpse of a nocturnal feral sofa. They hide in dark corners during the day, coming out at night to hunt and forage.
Unfortunately, not all sofas are suited for life in the wild. These two fell to predators and their carcasses serve as a reminder that nature is not always kind.
Many people wonder if they have feral sofas in their neighborhood and ask me about the signs of a wild furniture infestation. I tell them to look for droppings.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of “Wild Furniture Kingdom” and will tune in next time for, “When Recliners Go Wild.”
Terri Lynn Coop is a lawyer, a writer, a Chihuahua owner, a clown hunter, and stalks feral furniture so you don’t have to.
Damn things are becoming a heck of a problem. Why doesn't the gummint have some kind of neutering program in place?
ReplyDeleteAgreed! And the office chairs are particularly vicious.
ReplyDeleteHilarous, I love it! And I admit that feral office chairs are vicious, indeed. Ow.
ReplyDeleteOMG, coffee-spew warning next time!
ReplyDeleteFurniture droppings. ROFL!
In response to a question, I had nothing to do with the cushion pile (I LOVE how they are all different). I was out walking and there it was on the side of the road . . . for two weeks . . .
ReplyDeleteThis was really funny! A very unique idea!
ReplyDeleteIt's all fun and games until you're attacked by a feral sofa and almost smothered by cushions!
ReplyDeleteThis was indeed really funny. I started laughing all by myself and i woke up my girlfriend. You should try and do one with old bikes that were left in different places.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! What a great idea.
ReplyDelete