Ermas interview: Pauline Campos

Today's interview is with up-and-coming Erma, Pauline Campos.

Ermas: You've been an Erma for a year now and you haven't run away screaming - you've got the chops, babe. Tell us more about you and what you're working on.

A year? Already? And we forgot to celebrate with cheap wine and a last-minute greeting card? Obviously, our relationship has surpassed that New and Shiny stage and cruised right into Happily Ever After and this makes me happy. Aside from playing a semi-convincing role of a humor writer on here and a few other sites I love, I'm currently email-stalking my agent during the submission process of my memoir for updates. She has kindly requested that I wait at least five minutes between emails.

Ermas: You're fighting the good fight about body image and how it affects our daughters on your blog, what's been the most positive thing you've seen come from this?

 I might be full of saucy-awesomeness when it comes to not having a filter and cracking wise, but it took a long time for me to be able to reach the level of comfort in my writing to be able to share my own eating-disordered past. Because of my own history, I'm very aware of what I say around my daughter and how I say it because no one ever means to encourage their daughter/sister/niece to hate their own body or become a bulimic. I want other mothers to be aware of that. A mother of a 14-year-old once thanked me after reading a column I wrote about PLUS Model Magazine's decision to feature a full-figured model in a photo spread criticizing the current obsession with the thin ideal. This mother shared my column with her daughter because she thought it would have a positive impact on her teen girl. That single act made me feel like I had made all the difference in the world.

Ermas: Motherhood isn't for the weak, you need upper body strength to wrestle the last cookie away from the kids. What was the last thing you wrestled your daughter for -- and who won?

Every day is a mental wrestling match with this kid and by the the time it's ready for her to go to bed, I'm frothing at the mouth at the thought of a wine slushie. She'll be five very soon and I'm pretty sure she's been able to out-logically-think me since the day she said "Mama" for the first time. I'm not bragging when I tell you that she was just about 12 weeks old when The Husband realized she had just uttered her first word. No, my friends, not at all. What I am actually doing is explaining to you that should your future progeny ever do something similar, it's probably best to admit that your newborn is smarter than you than make yourself look plain silly trying to look like you still have the upper hand. Also? The last wrestling match involved the Tickle Monster and much giggling. She stopped, thankfully, before I peed myself.

Ermas: Do you have a hidden musical talent? And is there video?

There probably is but I'm pretty sure it's still on VHS and that I should be very glad of this fact because this head of curls did *not* rock the middle-school craze of Aqua Net and teased bangs very well. I played flute and piccolo in concert band, got wild and crazy with the cymbals for parades and half-time shows and occasionally liked to hang out with the pit percussion on the sidelines with a pair of mallets and a marimba. Please don't be impressed. Have you ever seen an Aqua-netted chia pet marching backwards on a football field? It isn't pretty.

Ermas: The zombie apocalypse finally started after that last bite of infected taco and they're headed your way. You've been preparing for it for at least the last fifteen minutes, what weapons do you have on your desk to protect yourself?

I did already mention the Aqua Net...didn't I? Oh, and my bad. I thought that taco meat didn't smell right when I made dinner....