A Mother's Panic (kerSMACK!)

Scene: Middle of the night. Moonless, pitch black. Filled with slumbering quiet.

I was fast asleep, likely dreaming of iced mochas or, even better, the clearance rack at Target.

Yes. Yes, a medium will fit fine... with just a little more whipped cream...

“Mommy! MOMMY!” cried my daughter, a toddler then, from the top of the stairs.

Her too-late hysterics frightened me, and I fumbled for my glasses. Throwing them up the bridge of my nose as I rounded the bed, I aimed for the family room. But with my dreamy state and (this is always the most important part) clumsy body, I cut the corner too tight.

Just there, where the wall extends at a right-angle from the door, I met the flat, solid expanse with great and hurtful force.


My body bounced one way; my glasses sprung the other. My face throbbed as I bellered into the night, “My nose! My poor, aching nose!” (Or, er, something like that.)

But I righted myself--my baby needed me!--and retrieved my unscathed glasses. Made it upstairs in record time to find...

My daughter was cool as a cucumber, her moment of distress passed. She was okay, whatever it had been.

As for me and the wall, well. I'll let you guess who won that battle...


Read less-destructive things about Janna at her blog, Something She Wrote.

*No Jannas were harmed in the making of this post.


  1. A great read Janna. I usually stub a toe or crack a shin in my late night rush to deal with little ones.

  2. OUCH! This is why I don't have doors in my house - well, that and we're not done with construction.

  3. Too funny!

    That is SO classic me! I am the most uncoordinated person! My husband has a saying for such occasions, like when I run into a door frame or some such thing, "Watch out. I just put that there."

    Hope your nose is better!

  4. I can relate to this post! I remember waking up in my son's room. He had a nightmare so I was curled up next to him in his little bed. At one point, my daughter started yelling for me. I was disoriented (without glasses) and I kept bumping into furniture and the walls. It was a weird feeling.

    Janna, I really enjoyed reading this "ouch" episode! Well done once again, my friend :)

  5. I probably shouldn't be amused by your pain. But I am. ;-)


  6. Janna, I thought this sort of thing only happens to me. I once walked right smack into a closed door thinking it was open, but since my eyes were closed I had no idea.

  7. Angie, I thought I was the only person who would walk around with her eyes closed! ROFL!

  8. You all can laugh all you want. I did (the day after)! ;)

    I was okay. When I'd hoped for serious enough injury to warrant some compassion, it was just a slight bruise and scab... so that people thought I had a mascara smudge on my nose.


  9. Cute post!

    Mr. C is the 'night fetcher' in our house. Once I am asleep, I am OUT until morning. Usually he'll tell me if he had a tough night with the kids, and I will let him sleep in. But I am always surprised to hear that there was so much activity and I slept through all of it.

    Glad no Jannas were seriously hurt! ;)

  10. The things we suffer in the name of motherhood--and the scars we have to show for it. Preach it, Janna!

  11. Isn't it nice how our trials and tribulations often turn into our funniest stories? I've got a few of those tucked away myself.

    Susan :)

  12. Eeek. I don't even have kids but I've tripped on the way to the bathroom a couple of times...especially when we've come back from a trip and the suitcase is still on the floor blocking my path!

  13. "The things we do for love..." That's the song that comes to mind. Funny, how they never mention this kind of stuff in the Job Description for Expectant Mothers, isn't it?

  14. Oh no, LOL, poor you! Great story.

  15. Oh, Janna--that brought back such painful memories! Painful, I tell ya! (So who, or what, won?!)

  16. Poor you! Funny post - perfect for a Friday. Thanks for the laugh.

  17. Hmm, yes I must agree...a good laugh, and it sure does happen to us all!

  18. Heehee. (Sorry!--and hope your nose/wall are all right now.)

    I generally have adequate coordination. But there was a memorable short period of time (the month prior to our wedding, first and last bout with birth control pills) where I felt like an alien had invaded my body. (Kinda like pregnancy, but not.) I was like a bull in a china shop (dropped and shattered a 9x12 pyrex full of jello salad on the kitchen floor, broke glasses/plates emptying the dishwasher, and generally tripped and bumped alot). The crowning event was at my bridal shower when, as I said my goodbyes and made my graceful exit, I walked right into the plate glass storm door (which I didn't see) full force. It sounded like auto wreck, and of course, everyone came running expecting shards and blood (miraculously there was neither). I think I didn't feel my nose for at least 2 days. ;)

  19. Oh, dear. Why do we find this so side-aching funny? Because we've all done it at least once.

    I cannoned into a flag pole at school in 7th grade, while waving 'bye' to my Mom. So glad no one saw me, or I'd still be hearing about it.

    You are one funny lady!

  20. What a great story! And of course hubby slept through the whole thing, right?

  21. Yes, yes, "My nose! My poor aching nose!" is exactly what I say when I've smacked my face into a wall, too. ;)


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