Nice Try Victoria

It all started simply enough. My best friend and I were shopping for her upcoming wedding--in which I'm the matron-of-honor (let's not get into THAT label)--and popped into a lingerie store to grab a strapless bra. I knew exactly what I wanted and swore it would only take a couple minutes.

I should have known better.

First I couldn't find the bra I wanted. Bianca, a very cute and helpful salesperson, informed me that any bra I bought three years ago would no longer be available because they don't continue lines that long. (What kind of policy is that?) She helped me find a couple alternatives then said seven words that both thrilled and frightened me:

"Would you like me to fit you?"

Images of me half-naked with a cute blond wrapped around my chest were quickly erased when she whipped out her tape measure, looked over her shoulder, then asked me to lift my arms.

"Right here? In the middle of the store?"

At least I wasn't half-naked.

My friend smirked at me over a table of discount thongs. (Her time would come.)

I informed Bianca that I was wearing a padded bra--my profile picture stops at my shoulders for a reason--and she assured me it wasn't a problem. She leaned closer and squeezed the tape across my padding, then stepped back triumphantly.

"I'd say you're a C."

That thump? That was me hitting the floor laughing. I'm barely a B on a good day.

I picked myself up. "There's no way I'm a C."

About this time my friend sauntered over.

Bianca turned to her. "Would you like me to fit you?"

A nervous glance my way, a quick nod from me, then she slowly lifted her arms. More squeezing, a deep breath, and another triumphant smile.




Now we were both on the floor.

In the end, we each bought the size we've always worn. We appreciated Bianca's enthusiasm, but unless she plans to follow me around and offer me extra "support", I'll stick with what I know.


  1. Victoria's Secret bra sizes do run on the small side so every woman is about a cup bigger.

    In the same way that some more expensive brands run bigger so I can say I'm a size 6 although my Levi's tell me the honest truth about the size of my assets.

  2. Well I'm disappointed with my Victoria's Secret experience then. I went in thinking I was a B and came out an A.

  3. You had me at half-naked with a cute blond. ;)

  4. Here's to padded bras! (That's all I wear :))

  5. Gee. That was a great try on her part. Maybe they ought to open up a chain for men if that's their ploy & call it Victor's Secret ;)

  6. ROFL! I don't understand why the Bra Powers that Be seem to insist that we don't know what size bra we wear. I don't know about you, but I've always been able to successfully purchase and wear a bra ever since I attained my Hopeful B!

  7. ROFL @ June.

    This was a cute post! :D

  8. but you see, they are the leading authority on cup size don't you? Lucky for you that she didn't want you to go to the changing room and follow you in to tsk and make odd noises when the size she said would fit, didn't. :) Loved this.

  9. The leading authority. :-) I have owned two Victoria's Secret bras in my life. They were both 40 C. Every other bra I have owned in my adult life has been either a 34 or a 36 B. I'm thinking they need new measuring tapes!

  10. Glad I wasn't there, then. She'd have wheeled out a couple of trashcans held together with duct tape.

  11. LOL! You all are hilarious! And of course I'm not happy with the bra, but once you take the tags off they won't take it bcak.

  12. I'm laughing and recalling...the time a salesperson screamed "HOW MUCH FOR THE LADY MARLENE PADDED BRA!" across the sales floor....Thanks for the laughs (and memories).

    Lucia Paul

  13. Hmm... I need to send my best friend in there, to give her a little boost of confidence. ;)

    Loved the part about you thumping to the floor!

  14. OMG! I was recently fitted by a woman at a fancy shmancy bra store and found out I'm a DD! Holy crap! But I bought new DD bras, and I've got to admit that I look better. Thinner, if that isn't too weird. I think I was smooshing my boobs before.


  15. Robin, I'm glad SOMEONE benefitted from the bra fitting!!

  16. HA! I once had a fitting where the woman took one look at me before she broke out the tape measure and guessed my exact size (which is a very weird size). I was floored. She said something to the effect of, "You see enough boobs, eventually you know what size they are." Made sense. But it still felt like an awesome parlor trick.

  17. Better boobies make a world of difference! I've been a DD since high school (yes, I was *that* girl, shut up) and if the girls ain't happy - ain't nobody happy.

  18. Wow. I think I'll go to Victoria's Secret to get measured.

    Maybe I'll end up a D cup.

  19. I was measured at a C cup once and dutifully trying a 30C on found not only could I barely get it fastened it left me squished in and sticking out at odd places...a 32D was just what the doctor ordered. The moral of this story, never trust the measurements, everywhere is different.


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