Red potato salad with green onions shouted at me a few days ago, demanding I ask my husband to make a batch. I was quick to obey. Since Kevin has perfected this recipe to an art form, he was eager to assist me in indulging the food voices.
Don’t pretend you don’t hear them, too. When you are reading in bed at night, the chips you hid from your kids holler to you from the sock drawer. You make sure no lights are oozing from under closed bedroom doors before you slip the drawer open and ease the bag out. You even place each chip on your tongue lightly, allowing it to soak in before biting down. You can’t risk waking anyone with loud crunching. Those chips are yours, all yours.
And we’re all familiar with singing ice cream, chattering cookies, hollering pizza, and humming donuts. They sneak up behind us as we drive to work, write emails, and watch TV. No activity is sacred to these tormenting treats.
Right before we went to sleep last night, one accosted me. “I wish we had some dark chocolate truffles,” I said to Kev.
“Sorry, hon. We have Girl Scout Cookies in the pantry. Do you want me to get you some?”
I sighed. “No; thanks anyway. I’ve had enough sweets today. I just wanted to entertain my tongue. I need to say “no” more often to screaming food.”
“Good for you, Jeanette. The Apostle Paul would be proud of you for keeping your body under control. G’nite.”
“Wait,” I said as I flipped my bedside lamp back on. “I didn’t say I was cutting out snacks forever; only that I’d had enough sweets for one day. Can you please get me a bowl of that red potato salad?”
“Nutty with a dash of meat” best describes Jeanette Levellie’s speaking, writing and life. She has published hundreds of humor/inspirational columns, articles, greeting cards, and poems. A spunky pastor’s wife, Jeanette is the mother of two, grandmother of three, and waitress to four cats. Find her mirthful musings at www.jeanettelevellie.com.