Tech Support

by Terri Lynn Coop

02/22/2012 transcript – for official use only 


Tech: Yes, ma’am what can I do for you today?

Caller: Hi, um, in 2008, I got your Boyfriend v1.0 package. I was really happy with it. In fact, I added the Fiance v2.0 upgrade package in 2010.

Tech: Always glad to hear from a happy customer. Is there a problem?

Caller:  Well, my Fiance v2.0 was slow and got outdated, so I added one of the suggested expansion packs, therabbitdied.exe and before I knew it, he did a self-upgrade to Husband v1.0! However . . . 

Tech:  Glad to hear the software autoloaded. Occasionally, the user has to start the upgrade with the prompt shotgun.html. But, it still sounds like there is a problem.

Caller:  You didn’t tell me that the Husband v1.0 package included the macros farting.exe, snoring.exe, and that sports.exe would be constantly running in the background! It is really interfering with the happilyeverafter.doc template I purchased as part of the wedding package.

Tech:  Yes, those bloatware programs do come standard with Husband v1.0. However, we do have a Husband v1.2 security patch download. Type in mymotheriscomingtolivehere.html and you should see an immediate improvement in behaviors. Anything else?

Caller: Yes. Fiance v2.0 had some wonderful functionalities that don’t seem to be working now that I’ve upgraded. Flowers v2.4 and SnuggleBunny v3.1 haven’t worked for months now.

Tech:  Be honest now. Did you run the recommended diagnostic lingerie.html?

Caller: Yes! And it was no help.

Tech:  Let me check your root directory on the current Husband v1.0 package. Uh oh, I see what might be part of the problem. You may have a bimbo virus. There is a file in here titled Monique.exe. It’s in the subdirectory Motives and that heading is shaded. 

Caller: I knew something was going on. Is there anything I can do to remove that file? 

Tech: There is a diagnostic that’s been known to work. Type in communityproperty.html followed by childsupportorder.html and see what happens.

Caller: OMG! It worked! And it triggered a download of Flowers v3.0. You are a genius!

Tech:  Awesome. That’s a tough one. I do recommend regular diagnostics of lingerie.html along with our bimbo sweep pack including footrub.exe, lasagna.exe, and pokernight.exe. Even though the upgraded Husband v1.2 is a more stable program, it requires maintenance. It’s all in the manual.

Caller:  The manual?  Geez . . . it looked so easy in the demo. 


Terri Lynn Coop lives in Kansas in a big spooky building with a leaky roof and two Chihuahuas to protect her from evildoers while she writes her novel. Check out her blogs www.whyifearclowns.net and www.readinrittinandrhetoric.blogspot.com for more funny.  She also hangs out on Twitter under the handle @TerriLCoop.


  1. I'm afraid mine was afflicted with the virus drunkanddisorderly.exe. ;)

    Hilarious post, Terri!


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