My late wife

by Bill Mullis

In the middle of July, 
The air was hot and humid.
The bride was nowhere to be found;
The groom was getting groomèd.

His beard was not as gray back then,
His aches were less insistent;
His hair, though less than years before,
Was basically existent.

He dressed himself as best he could 
In what garb he remembered.
His tie he borrowed from a future 
Former family member.

And as he dressed he watched the road - 
For time was running out - 
For signs of his belovèd, though 
In truth there was no doubt.

Well, maybe just a little one:
There's always just a chance
That her intelligence will trump
The blindness of romance.

And so he tied his borrowed tie,
And wiped his sweating brows,
And stole a glance or two or three
While practicing his vows.

But timepieces were being checked,
Though surreptitiously,
By people wishing she’d arrive
More expeditiously.

“Has the woman changed her mind?”
The bystanders all wondered.
“Oh, surely not,” was the reply,
“that’s one chance in a hunderd.”

And then - at last! - the glint of sun 
Shone from the auto glass.
In his relief he sat down hard
Upon his... fundament.

For in the middle of July
The air was hot and sticky.
But his relief was mighty, ’cause
His bride was not that picky.

Bill Mullis often thinks in bad verse in the Upstate region of South Carolina, where he continues to live in marital bliss with Amy, and hardly ever has to wait for her for very long.


  1. Your rhyme shows that your love's robust;
    You didn't try to lull us.
    And if your bride had fled that day
    She wouldn't be a Mullis.

    Well done, sir.

  2. My friends, please know my gratitude
    Is not exaggerated;
    Your warm support and words so kind
    Are much appreciated.

  3. This was really great! Loved it!

  4. I ran out of gas! I--I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!! (Any excuse good enough for Jake is good enough for me! Thank you for not trying to mow me down with a machine gun. Or a flame thrower. )

  5. Captain, my old friend (or KODB, whichever you prefer),

    Reading what you and Amy write is a blessing. The past 15 years, I have been able to watch the two of you, albeit from a distance and with less-than-perfect eyesight. You have made your marriage thrive through all this time. My congratulations to you both.
    I still have people asking me when and/or if you and I will ever do a "reunion show", and I have to reply "only time will tell". I know I'm late with my ante to our friendly wager (and there's a story in that as well).
    God bless you both. You are my friends, and an inspiration. Hopefully we'll meet again on the beach in Charleston, or perhaps on that rooftop bar overlooking the ocean ...

    Keith, your fellow White Plectrum

  6. I was going to comment, but *sniif* I have something in my eye . . .


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