There should be a warning label slapped to my forehead before I head to the checkout counter:


I never learn.

Ahhh, to be 17 again
I'm mildly obsessed with my hair - having frosted, teased, permed (oh sweet Jesus), colored, highlighted, cellophaned, flirting briefly with a Bump-It, long, short, red, blonde, dark brown and yes, green after an unfortunate encounter with an Ash blonde shade over frosted hair in high school. I've spent countless dollars perfecting the carelessly smushy bed-waves that could have been more easily accomplished by simply rolling off my mattress and out the door. Ringlets? Yes, please. But after years of perming my already wavy hair, I walked out with Super Tight curls and never once a ringlet nor corkscrew gracing my head.

So I did what any normal young adult would do - I cut it all off to start over. Yep. I'm a genius. I didn't go crazy, just a nice bowl cut that reminds me now of Vector from Despicable Me. That's right. I was a goddess. Add in my new favorite color of Stoplight Red and I was a walking pencil eraser.

Fast-forward another fifteen years and five children -- I'd let my hair grow out to my bottom, stopped coloring/perming and allowed my naturally auburn hippie roots run free. Angels slept in my pristine locks and visions of shampoo commercials played on loop in my head. This had to stop.

"Hey babe, why don't you ruin your hair by going platinum blonde?" my husband said. Okay, he didn't really say that -- aside from the blonde part.

"No, I gave all that up years ago. I like my natural highlights." Silver glittered in my hair, glinting in the sunlight and blinding pilots overhead.

"I like them too. Here, I bought you this box." Handing me the offending cube, I remembered the joy of experimentation - of not having to explain to my children why Mommy now has streaky hair - of being young and free. No more dark circles under my eyes after endless nights of colicky babies! No more catching sight of myself in the mirror and thinking my mother had snuck in behind me! Oh my god. I'd have perky boobs again. Grabbing the box, I ran to the bathroom and doused myself in chemical goodness. Twenty minutes later, I emerged. Fresh. Staggering brilliant. And slightly orange. Auburn has a memory and it doesn't let go easily.
A year later I've run the gamut of Woodland Creature brown to Blaze o'Glory red. Guess which one I chose today? They never mentioned the pink streaks on the box...

As for the long locks? There's something sinister that lurks in the minds of women right before a newspaper interview or conference where photos will be taken - we suddenly NEED a haircut. A trim turned into a lopping and poof, I was back to sporting a sassy new shoulder-length cut in a matter of minutes.

Just call me Vector.


  1. It's just SO tempting to use hair and expressive tool. It's our built in fashion accessory. I went 2 years without doing anything to mine and it was a decent sandy color. Then I went back to experimenting with purple, chestnut, etc. Now I have to have my "Rogue" stripes in the front. I feel without it.

  2. S'lookin' good, Stacey. ;-)



  3. My hair is like a mood ring. I can tell how stressed I am depending on the shade I've decided to color it.

  4. What about when it's multicoloured, then? ;-)

  5. I'm a woman. I multi-task my emotions.

  6. I'm a fan of the do-it-yourself school of color. Although I have played with the color wheel I've been the same box for some time. I agree with Amber, hair is an accessory, play with it.

  7. I dye my hair consistantly, and all by myself too. I've flirted with everything from red to bleached blonde in my younger days but now stick to anywhere between deep brown, golden brown, and reddish brown. :)I do NOT attempt to do highlights though.

  8. I went from brown to red, blonde, and a big mistake jet black. I now have gray hair and I love the freedom of not having to worry about fading and roots showing. I heard on TV that gray is in! Go natural ladies.

  9. I don't think I'm brave enough (yet), Deb!

  10. LOL I can sooo relate...remember the days of peroxide and that fresh orange tone from Sun-In on dark brown hair! I've gone from that to sun bleached blonde, to black to red back to natural brunette with sparkling silver streaks too...what was I doing Jan 1, 2011...coloring my hair cherry chocolate...why? one too many people commented on "how gray" my hair was getting! So, I caved because the contrast of the gray against dark was just too much to handle...sadly a month later I've got over 1/2" of gray roots showing...I think I'll listen to Deb and go natural again! Since when have I cared what people think, why'd I cave and dye it again?!

  11. I tried to do it myself. I went from red to dark brown in 15 minutes. Several years later,I decided to frost my hair, but I'm smart enough to remember the mess I made with the red dye. I paid a beautician to do it. When she went out of the business, I found another one to do it. Two years ago, after several years of natural colors, my husband got tired of seeing the silver threads and got me started going to a hair dresser on a regular basis. When he complains about how long it takes me, I tell him, "Honey, I'm doing it for you."

  12. I am a natural silver haired old lady, but only because I am a coward after my many years of wild and crazy cuts and colorings. I am what younger people call a "Q Tip". Visualize and you will understand.

  13. I feel crazy that I can't see pink in the picture. Is it me?

    Yeah, I had a few bad experiments with hair color while living in Mexico...

  14. I just realized that I haven't seen my natural hair color since 1982.

  15. My kids colored my hair. When they were born,it turned gray. When they learned to drive, it turned white. I'm so busy blackening the meatloaf, I don't have time to color my hair! Funny piece, Stace.


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