by Terri Lynn Coop
Welcome to this edition of “Wild Furniture Kingdom,” featuring the “Five Best Feral Sofas of Kansas.” Join me on this photo safari featuring the wildlife that is probably lurking in your own backyard.
Facing life in the wild, our first feral sofa developed a unique protective coloring that allowed it to blend into its environment.
Our second wild sofa is a proudly displaying its plumage and staking its claim on the kingdom. Judging from its flashy stripes, it is most likely an alpha male.
Over time, wild furniture will often lose its fear of man. Our third feral sofa seems comfortable lounging in alleys and likely scrounging in the garbage.
Our fourth stop is a rare glimpse of a nocturnal feral sofa. They hide in dark corners during the day, coming out at night to hunt and forage.
Unfortunately, not all sofas are suited for life in the wild. These two fell to predators and their carcasses serve as a reminder that nature is not always kind.
Many people wonder if they have feral sofas in their neighborhood and ask me about the signs of a wild furniture infestation. I tell them to look for droppings.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of “Wild Furniture Kingdom” and will tune in next time for, “When Recliners Go Wild.”
Terri Lynn Coop is a lawyer, a writer, a Chihuahua owner, a clown hunter, and stalks feral furniture so you don’t have to.