You Are Smarter than You Think!

by Jeanette Levellie

Wanna feel extra clever today? This list of five ditzy doings will encourage you:

1.       When the bill at a drive-in burger shop came to $4.25, Aunt Minnie handed the young cashier a five-dollar bill and a quarter. The teenager gazed at the money for a moment, then said, “You gave me too much.”

“I know,” Aunt Minnie replied, “this way you give me an even dollar in change.”

The cashier left the window to find her manager, who returned with the money. “I’m sorry ma’am; we can’t do this type of thing,” he said.

Aunt Minnie shrugged as the teenager handed her $1.75 in change.

2.       A rural newspaper received this letter from a concerned reader: “I think the Township needs to move the Deer Crossing sign out on Highway 14. Too many deer are getting hit and killed there. They need a safer place to cross.”

3.       When a lady went to the mechanic’s shop to pick up her car after a repair, the mechanic apologized for locking the keys inside. He was busy finagling to get the door on the driver’s side open. The lady walked around to the passenger side. Finding it unlocked, she opened the door, then said to the mechanic, “Hey, this side is unlocked.”

“I know,” he replied, “I already managed to get that side opened.”

4.       If you plan to rob a bank, be careful where you write your hold-up note. One robber put his on the back of a deposit slip—his own!

5.       Believe it or not, I have been guilty of a few dumb doings. While in the lunchroom at a former job, I noticed the clock had stopped. I called the facilities manager to bring some batteries next time he came down to the kitchen.  A few minutes later he showed up, batteries in hand.

“Jeanette,” he said, “this clock is electric—the cord is hanging right here.” He plugged it in and set it. Heat crept up my neck and into my face as I said, “Well, the cord and wall are both white—it blended in!”