Reality of Pet Proportions

By Tricia Gillespie

My dog is many things:

She is a pain in my rear – BIG pain.

She is a food thief.

She is a laundry lifter.

She is a mailman hater.

She is a butt-sniffing, shoe-biting, smelly beast.

She is a climb-up-into-your-lap-and-throw-her-arms-around-your-neck-for-a-kiss kind of dog.

But the thing that really bothers me…

The thing that requires intervention…

The thing that makes me scratch my head in wonder…

The thing I’m most ashamed to admit…

My dog is a HOARDER.

I didn’t think you would believe me, so I attempted to photograph her kennel, the ‘box’ as we call it; however, shame overwhelmed me.  I’d rather show you a picture of my son’s room on a bad day in the dark month of May.  I’d rather show you an up-close-and-personal photograph of the backseat of my car in all its crushed cracker, mud-laden, trash-drifted glory.  I’m sad to think I’ve allowed a member of my family to get so out of control, become so compulsive, live in such disarray, but I’m obviously a mommy failure of pet proportions.

At this moment Oriona the hoarder has the remains of a full roll of toilet paper, a package of once-unused coffee filters, a knit winter cap, two logs, one glove, and an assortment of unidentifiable objects that I presume are garbage. Oh, let us not forget the scarf that I crocheted in a moment of creative passion after reading an issue of Martha Stewart Living.  That’s in there too, but it is dead.

My Dog The Hoarder will air Tuesday’s at 9 p.m. on TLC, Eastern Standard Time.

See you then.

Bio:  Tricia Gillespie, the pet enabler, lives on The Domestic Fringe with her husband, two kids, one fish, and a lizard.  She has fond memories of her loveable trash-collecting dog, Oriana.  Unfortunately, due to extreme health issues in her family, the dog is now hoarding in another family’s home.  She writes about her adventures in life on her blog, thedomesticfringe.com.  Come visit and find out what Hot Shot the Fish and Slippy the Lizard are doing these days.  And, she’s only kidding about the TLC special. 


  1. I wonder why she wanted the two logs?

    1. I think she meant two "legs." I'm pretty sure it was the remains of the mailman.

  2. She was cold! I'm sure that's why. I wanted a few logs of my own too. ;-)


  3. I have a few hoarders in my house, too. But they're human.

    Fun stuff!

  4. Aww, yay for mentally imbalanced dogs! We had a hoarder when I was growing up... Except she was a thief/hoarder. She would run away and come home days later with a lone sneaker, a sandwich in a ziplock bag, once even an entire loaf of bread. My dog, the kleptomaniac.

  5. So funny! Your dog pillaged the neighbors. I love it. ;-)


  6. I remember when you guys got her! Wow, how she's grown (to collect things).


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