Milk and Bread? Yeah, right.

I just went in for milk and bread,

I never meant to lose my head,

But by the time I’d reached the door

My cart was dragging on the floor.

“What happened?” cried my shaken spouse,

“You bought enough to fill a house!”

“But honey, dog food was on sale

And I couldn’t pass up half price kale!

Just look at these socks with rainbow toes,

And polka dot tissues to blow your nose!

I had to buy snow cones, three for ten,

And chicken livers to feed Uncle Ben,

Who loves to pop in unannounced, you know,

I’ll feed him persimmons—just look how they glow!”

I grinned and I gloated, I basked in delight,

That I’d found such bargains for our budget tight.

Did it really matter we didn’t have dogs?

Or despised that ol’ kale? We’d feed neighbor’s hogs!

I guess I’d forgotten poor Uncle Ben’s passing,

But fried chicken livers would be such a blessing

At the next carry-in on our 5th Sunday dinner,

As a shopper, no doubt, I reigned as the winner!

JEL, 05/04/2010


  1. Thanks for giving me a smile this morning. What a cute poem! It certainly helps me feel a little more normal about my own grocery shopping habits.

  2. Sigh. I did this TWO DAYS AGO!!

    Went in to get my meds and dog food and came out with fresh fruit and chocolates and even FRESH FLOWERs, but they were for a friend, so I think that one's okay.

    My budget is shredded---for the NEXT TWO WEEKS!!!

    Gonna be beans and crackers in Normal!!

  3. Kathy: Thanks for stopping by--I appreciate you.

    Patti: You can come to Paris for two weeks and have meatloaf, pizza and hot dogs with us, okay?

  4. "..cried my shaken spouse." I love that line! My 'shaken spouse,' incidentally, calls my favorite mocha place "Fourbux." That's clearly where too much of my disposable income ends up.

  5. It just happens like that, doesn't it?!?!? :O)

  6. Oh, this could absolutely have been taken from my life!! Funny stuff!!

  7. Rhonda: I'll bet your shaken spouse has his own hobby, and it costs more than Fourbux. Just sayin'...

    Jennifer: Thanks for the compliment, dear.

    Diane: Yep. This is why I rarely grocery shop; my husband keeps to his list like a conductor to his score sheet.

    Carole: Why, thank you!

  8. Oh, I absolutely shop this way. I've been in grocery time out for ages! Love it, Jeanette!

  9. Grocery Time Out, Amy? I'll bet you planned that so your hus would have to do all the shopping, right? Smart girl!

  10. You aren't just whistling Dixie, Jeanette. It's called expensive running gear. We can't just go jogging in old sneakers and cotton T-shirts, you know. :)

  11. You sound like a shaken Mama who lives with all males...

  12. *laughing* This is so true! Thanks for posting it!

  13. Very funny and oh so true. I swear that a new law has been passed that I cannot leave Walmart until my tab is at least $40.00.


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