By Amy Mullis
Hold me back from chocolate cakes,
Brownies, cookies, nuts, and shakes.
Help me know that if I eat,
My waist will soon obscure my feet.
It shames me some to have to tell
That I weigh on the Richter scale.
So pork chops, have no fear of me;
Roasts and cutlets can run free -
NO! I do not have the will to try it;
I would rather die than diet.
You can sit there if you please,
Eating fruit and cottage cheese.
A celery stalk, a carrot stick:
The vision fairly makes me sick!
As for me, I’ll roast and fry
And feast on pizza, cake, and pie.
I’ll gorge until my zippers bust,
And then remove them if I must.
But til that dreadful day shall be,
I’ll spend my time with Sara Lee.
Join Amy for a lifetime of "Don't let this happen to me" moments on her blog, Mind Over Mullis. Compliments go to Lisa Dovichi for the pictured treats. Lisa could make a gourmet dessert even if macaroni and chocolate milk were the only ingredients available. She's the McGyver of the kitchen set. Paula Deen beware!