Austentatious Haiku

by Patti Wigington

Truth universal

Such passion might pollute the

Shades of Pemberley

Persuaded by Bath

Love found, lost and found again

Her words pierce his soul

Dark gothic abbey

“Mysteries of Udolpho”

Hearts joined in ruins

Matchmaker matching

Finds herself undone by her

Own willful spirit

Sisters three, one young,

One says too much, one speaks not,

Many mixed signals

Poor girl, country house

Sharp social commentary

Love is right next door

Curled up quietly

Cat in lap, coffee in hand,

So lost in Austen

Cat Haiku

by Steve Barber

If dogs can have their Haiku, it's only fair that cats get a shot at it too. Theirs, of course, would be...different. Like this:

You have allergies?

Cats have dander. Deal with it.

Now go bring my food.

The plans are in place

To overthrow the humans.

But first I must nap.

I shall bring dead things

And leave them on your pillow.

'Cause that's what cats do.

Telework: A Haiku

by John Banusiewicz

Teleworking rocks,
And not just because it means
Pants without belt loops.

Working in bare feet
With no buttons on my shirt
Definitely helps.

And when the commute
Means just walking down the stairs,
I can handle that.

Focusing on work
Isn’t an issue at all.
It’s very quiet.

Who could ask for more?
With all the comforts of home,
I have it made, right?

But the small pockets
Of down time my work provides
Are my undoing.

The walk to the fridge
Is twenty-two steps, round-trip.
Damn those Klondike Bars.

Golden Oreos
Go nicely with Klondike Bars,
And they’re right nearby.

And I won’t even
Discuss my relationship
With potato chips.

Elastic waitsbands
Aren’t only for my comfort.
They’re necessary.

Besties, Beasties and Frenemies: Oh My!

by Beth Bartlett

Doesn’t mind late calls

Refills your wine while you vent

Honey Badger cares.

Makes fun of your shoes

Even Jimmy Choos on sale

Cougars are vicious.

Drunk-dialing your ex

New girlfriend answers the phone.

Snap! Barracuda!

Long neck, stretchy pants

Hears all the gossip, stays mum

Giraffe’s got your back

Mishap avoided;

Turkey knows just what to do.

Put down the hot wax.

What’s white, black and red?

Zebra after dirty jokes

And margaritas.

Image: Flickr/Cristiano Betta

Going a Little HAIKU-KOO

By Kathy Tirrell

Dump out stuff in purse,

Fish through pockets, dig through trash.

Keys found in the fridge!

Traffic lights, stop signs,

Allergy eyes, big, bright zit.

RED things drive me nuts!

Son wails on guitar,

Husband brings iPad to bed.

Think I’ll sleep outdoors!

Kathy Tirrell sometimes goes a little cuckoo over things that happen in life, but tries to find the humor in it all.  You can check out some of her observations on “It Bloggles the Mind.”

Haiku For You

By Lisa Dovichi

4ft's creations
Some things shouldn't be on bread
*Shudders* The horror.

Ran out of stickers
Art project needs enhancement
Bandaids for the win.

Lisa lives in Livermore, CA with her husband and three children. She works from home as an artist and web designer. In her dwindling spare time she changes diapers, experiments with food, is a sucker for DIY projects, and watches bad movies on Monday night with her husband. To get more Lisa visit: www.meltingbeforeyoureyes.blogspot.com.

Ode to My New House

by Melanie Hooyenga

New house, I love thee.
Every arch and creaky step
Whispers "Welcome home."

Tumbling down the stairs,
I remind myself how much
I love you, new house.

Windows that won’t budge
In the grip of August’s heat
Test my new-found love.

The cobweb-covered
Basement tests this love further,
But my love stays strong.

I have my life’s dream
And won’t let this love falter.
(At least ‘til it snows.)

Melanie Hooyenga is a graphic designer by day and Haiku-writing fool while stopped at red lights (good thing they’re short). She has a neglected haiku blog, Hoo Can Haiku, which features the talents of several Ermas. She recently bought her first home and is chronicling her adventures in first-time home-ownership at melaniehoo.com/hoosblog. You can also follow her randomness at @melaniehoo.

Bag-For-A-Buck Romance Book-ku

By Terri Coop

It's no secret that I like going to book sales.

Sometimes you find the raw material for dreams.

Many thanks to literary agent Janet Reid and her outrageous book poetry contest.

Terri Lynn Coop would give the local library $10 a year just to be able to go in and look at the books. It's way better when they let her bring her handtruck and take a bunch home. She is a practical dreamer who writes articles about everything from law to the history of pink fuzzy dice when not hacking away at her novel.

Kitchen ‘Ku-Boom

by Beth Bartlett

Fire extinguisher

Tops off the soufflé with foam

Mmmmm, creamy goodness.

Helpful kitchen tip:

Burned cookies make great trivets

And they last for years.

Summer Refrain

By Sara Spock

sprinkler soaks a sun-

drenched lawn while muddy feet squish

blades between their toes

eyes sparkle through paths

of forest shade while grubby

fingers reach for slugs

ice cream melts down a

dimpled chin while sugar highs

crash through toddler brains

~Sara Spock is a Mom, Wife, Penn State Graduate, Substitute Teacher, Freelance Writer, and Chocolate Addict.  When she’s not reveling in the summer-time highs and lows, Sara can be found over at The Hero Complex where she tries to save the world, one. recipe. at. a. time.

August Haikus

By Jason Tudor

Life

Down the dark canal

Caught by friendly waiting hands

Yea! It’s my birthday!

Signs

In roars the lion

Thunderous gold jungle king

But you’re a Pisces

Hot

Fickle summer’s touch

Parches throats, scorches thin skin

Stay a bit longer?

Domestic Bliss

by  Carole Lee

Coffee can empty

Stale cereal, and no milk

Going back to bed

Filtered H₂O

Personalized “Fido” dish

Drinks from toilet

Sweep, mop, wash, dry, fold

Pick up doggie toys (again)

How much do maids charge?

Fire alarm sounding

Smoke and charred remains brought forth

Supper is ready

Shuffle off to bed

Snuggle up with pillow talk

Notice spouse snoring

Dog Haiku

Dogs are creatures of few words. How few? Well, none, actually. But if they could speak I'm convinced they'd do it in Haiku.

Perhaps something like this:

 

You know how I do

Disgusting things with my tongue?

Let me lick your face.

I left a present,

Well, not really a present,

On your bathroom rug.

No, it's not my fault.

I begged you to take me out.

Hope you stepped in it.

Steve Barber lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan with Hunny and Tilly the Wonder Dog who just went three straight days without going on the carpet. Hunny's good about that too. Steve's currently working on convincing himself to get back to working on a bunch of half finished short stories. He just may do it, too.

Anything you haiku, I haiku better.

By Stacey Graham

Distracted shopping -
Went to Target with five girls,
returned with jock strap

And because no haiku post is complete without one about zombies:

Hills full of children,
laughing as they glide down slopes:
zombies make great sleds!